and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
