Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
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