mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Randomize
