Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
