You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
