My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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