Are we in a gay sports bar?
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Randomize
