I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
