i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
