i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Randomize
