I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I need help removing her.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
