Define "chronic" masturbator.
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
