I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Randomize
