I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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