I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
