garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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