i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
