if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
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