its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
