i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Randomize
