fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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