just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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