She just used a chaser for red wine.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
