That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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