so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
that is very illegal...i love you.
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