i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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