nut hugger
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
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