I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize
