Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Randomize