So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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