This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
