I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
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