They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
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