He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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