Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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