I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
he fucked my hip out of place.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Boobs speak an international language.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Randomize
