just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
farters have to be the big spoon...
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
