Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
