We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
