I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
