I want to stick my p in your. b.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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