He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
