Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I had to cum in my sink.
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