so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
