she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Do vagina's smell?
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
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