Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
cat food counts as protein by the way
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
