I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
