Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize