Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
