I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Randomize
