They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Randomize
