i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Randomize
