im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Randomize
