it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
These tits shall not be calmed
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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