i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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