I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Randomize