if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Randomize
