his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize