The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
