its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
