I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
