They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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