So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
My penis needs a shock collar
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
