do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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