How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize