im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
