Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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