If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
